National Donut Day? Sure. Why Not?

America has a lot of oddball “national” days.  National Buffet Day seems like a cruel joke, placed as it is on January 2, just as the weight loss resolutions are getting underway.  National If Pets Had Thumbs Day on March 13 is… well… strange.  But is it any stranger than National Chant at the Moon Day on August 15?  I can’t say.  April 4th’s National Hug A Newsperson Day is fine, but could we add a National Punch a Weather Forecaster Day (for obvious reasons)?  Some interest groups engage in sleazy double-dipping.  For example, there’s a National Shrimp Day (May 10) and a National Shrimp Scampi Day (April 29).  I’m lookin’ at you, crustacean lobby.

Still, there are several national days I can readily get behind:

• National Cheese Day (To be honest, every day is Cheese Day for me.  I’m from Wisconsin.  It’s part of my cultural heritage.)
• National Wine & Cheese Day (Because I also like wine.)
• National Lazy Day, followed days later by National Relaxation Day (These are in August, about the time I haul out the hammock each year and start taking mid-afternoon naps.)

Sadly, my research didn’t reveal a National Give Your Wife a Foot Massage Day.  In truth, this is probably a good thing.  The husband would almost certainly make some formal declaration about giving me a foot rub only once a year, on the designated holiday.  As it now stands, I get them fairly regularly, so I probably shouldn’t rock the boat.

Then there is the star of the show: National Donut Day.  I only became aware of this meaningful day of celebration a few years ago.  Depending on when you’re reading this, it will be/is/was Friday, June 7th, and for once, I’m prepared.

For most of my life, donuts were a “take ’em or leave ’em” kind of food.  Then I discovered really good donuts.  The kind that come from donut shops that aren’t chains and have quirky names, and that are often found on local Best of lists.  After that, I started liking donuts a whole lot more.  (So much so that I even wrote my second blog post about coffee & donuts, in which I captivate the reader with details of one of my charmingly idiosyncratic eating habits.) 😉

But I don’t love all donuts.  Certainly not those over-the-top, filled, frosted, sprinkled, gilded monstrosities.  No, not me.  I’m a purist.  For me, it’s a glazed old-fashioned.  That, or a few varieties of cake donut.  If you can’t get those two basic recipes right, all the frosting in the world won’t save you.

But back to our distinguished holiday.  Every year until this year, National Donut Day has taken me by surprise.  (Unforgivably, it’s not printed on most calendars the way, say, Christmas is.  Who makes these decisions, anyway?)  By that I mean I arrive at work and then and only then, via word of mouth or an email, I discover – too late – that the special day is upon us.  As a teacher, I can’t usually leave, and even if I could, the kind of specialty donut shop I seek doesn’t exist in the far-flung suburb where my school is located.  My day utterly ruined, I plod through my lessons as best I can, vowing that next year, dammit, I’ll remember.

And this year, I finally did.  What’s more, the donut bank the husband gave me a few years back is finally full!

It wasn’t easy getting the coins out of the bank.  I worked up a powerful hunger… for donuts.

Putting my credit union membership to good use, I took my chunk of change and used their coin machine (for free… as I said, I’m a member) to see what several years of coin scrounging could get me.

$12.09

It may not seem like much, but I can probably get a good three donuts for that.  I’m happy.  But not as happy as I will be on National Donut Day.

Oh, and just in case you’re unclear about the dos and don’ts of this hallowed feast day, here’s a tip.  As much as we may love our breakfast pastries – croissants, danishes, scones, muffins, cinnamon rolls, and so on – they are not donuts.  Save them for the other 364 days of the year (or maybe have an egg once in a while, sheesh).

I’m pretty good, but I’m no donut.  Save me for after the holiday.